Don't Break the Heart That Loves You

March 1962

And so at last we return to Connie Francis, the once-tremendous and now-mostly-forgotten star. This is her third (and last) number-one hit.



The song is carried by a similar method of Francis harmonizing with herself via double-tracking that we found with her previous entry, "My Heart Has a Mind of Its Own." It's also characterized by a similar mid-paced, slightly shuffling, very white-bread sort of rhythm that hasn't aged well at all. She reminds me of Patsy Cline, only not as good. Cline was too country to ever make it to number one, but Francis had that magic formula of pop crossover that rocketed her to mega-stardom. But now who has the greater legacy? Sure, Francis had a pretty decent singing voice, but too much of her music starts to get tiresome. Go ahead, see how many Connie Francis songs you can make it through in a row:

The 43-Minute Francis Test

The above is a chronological playlist of all of the singer's top-ten hits, an impressive 16 of them from 1957–1962. That's a huge number; I don't believe any artist I've covered yet has had that many, excepting Elvis. Perhaps I've given short shrift to her five years of massive success; but a short five years was all she had in her. Maybe it's because these songs are so damn dreary, one after the other. The exception that proves the rule is "Lipstick on Your Collar," which actually threatens to be danceable.

I feel like I should have more to say about someone who hit the number-one spot three times, but I just don't. This is not music that inspires me to great heights of writing. I am having trouble conveying the immensity of her popularity while not really being all that enthusiastic about her.

So if you only take one thing away from this, it should be the spot at 2:09 in the video: "Hhhhhhi don't know what I'd do..."

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My Heart Has a Mind of Its Own

September–October 1960

Connie Francis was a big deal in 1960, with two songs topping the chart and two more in the top ten. In a way, she sort of typifies this sort of pop-country style that was popular at the time. I'd say this one is a better song than "Everybody's Somebody's Fool" from the summer.

I like those vaguely Mexican-sounding trumpets (see also: "Ring of Fire"). Notice that the harmonized vocals are, in fact, Connie Francis and Connie Francis, as opposed to the Everly Brothers who were two different people (or so they claimed). Obviously this would be impossible in a live performance – she'd need a backup singer, or else just sing the main melody line without the backup, which would change the character of the song. Also, on the subject of the Everlys – contrasting a song like "Cathy's Clown" with this one just doesn't seem fair. Connie's harmonies sound totally flat and by-the-book in comparison.

But hey, it's not a bad song at all. It's one of many songs which anthropomorphize the singer's heart, something I've always found a little strange when you think about it. I'd say it's a cliché, but this tune sort of gets around that by just going ahead and stating it directly - my heart has a mind of its own. There you have it. It's slightly meta.

Otherwise, well... not the most terrificly exciting song. Ergo, I don't have much to say about it. Oh welps!

C+

Everybody's Somebody's Fool

June–July 1960

Who was the top charting female singer of the 50s and 60s? If Wikipedia is to be believed, it's Connie Francis, whom I've never heard of before in my life. So much for posterity! Neither did I recognize her first #1 single, "Everybody's Somebody's Fool."

Assessment: average pap. I guess there's a reason someone from my generation has heard of the Everly Brothers, but not Francis. Also, the song's title declaration doesn't strike me as, well, true. Really? Everybody? "There is no exception to the rule," she sings. I for one don't think I'm somebody's fool. Not currently, at least. Unless there's someone out there that I don't know of, claiming me as her fool, in which case I'd appreciate it if she'd leave me alone.

In case you were wondering what the song sounds like in German, here it is. It seems to have been pretty common in the 50s and 60s (and earlier? I don't know) for a pop singer to record a hit song in two or more languages. Even the Beatles sang a couple of their early hits in German. It makes sense from a business perspective, and it's not clear to me why this isn't done anymore. Here in China, English-language pop music is ubiquitous – the language barrier doesn't seem to dampen its appeal. In fact, many Chinese-language songs have a line of English in the chorus, as the main "hook" of the song. And this song, which is currently a smash hit here, is half Korean, half English – which hasn't stopped it from being a ringtone on about 5 billion Chinese cell phones.

It's counterintuitive that non-Chinese songs could become so popular here, especially since karaoke is one of the defining features of Chinese (and East/Southeast Asian) pop culture. Hang out at a KTV bar and you'll probably hear someone croaking out "Hey Jude" or "My Heart Will Go On," even if they have no idea what the lyrics mean (or how to properly pronounce them).

Of course, the situation in 60s Europe was vastly different from modern China. No Western music company would bother translating a song for the Chinese market, because it's almost impossible to make money with music here, due to a lack of intellectual property rights. And really, music piracy plagues record companies everywhere, even if it's to a lesser extent than in China. The future of the music business is pretty uncertain in this day and age. But in the days of "Everybody's Somebody's Fool," with no downloading or pirating, you had to actually buy a record to hear a song. So it made perfect sense to produce a version of a popular hit that was suitable for a foreign market. But what about the time between the 60s and the computer age – let's say the 80s? Why didn't Michael Jackson record multilingual versions of "Billie Jean"? Maybe there are examples of translated pop music that I'm overlooking. If so, I'd like to hear about them. And no, I'm not talking about "Mr. Roboto."

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